DAD JOKES

[KingoftheNorth14]

I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.

It’s not like I did anything!

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

Maybe not a dad joke…

What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme!

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

I went to a really emotional wedding last week.

Even the cake was in tiers!

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

What kind of flower grows on your face?

Tulips!

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

Where do fruits go on vacation?

Pear-is!

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?

Where's Pop Corn?

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

What does a sprinter eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast!

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

Where do you learn to make a banana split?

Sundae school.

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

What has more letters than the alphabet?

The post office

 

[01dragonslayer]

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

View attachment 1493

Idk…what?

 

[01dragonslayer]

Idk…what?

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

How does a taco say grace?

Lettuce pray.

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

“Where do boats go when they're sick?" "To the boat doc."