DAD JOKES

[KingoftheNorth14]

What does a bee use to brush its hair?"
"A honeycomb!"

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

“If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"How does the moon cut his hair?" "Eclipse it."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!"

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?" "They're both Paris sites."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?" "Sofishticated."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?" "You follow the fresh prints."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"How does dry skin affect you at work?" "You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

 

[Nike]

How many miles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, the trick is getting them inside the lightbulb.

 

[01dragonslayer]

"Where do fruits go on vacation?" "Pear-is!"

 

[01dragonslayer]

"I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?" "Where's Pop Corn?"

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What's the best thing about Switzerland?" "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What does a sprinter eat before a race?" "Nothing, they fast!"