DAD JOKES

[01dragonslayer]

"Where do you learn to make a banana split?" "Sundae school."

 

[01dragonslayer]

What has more letters than the alphabet?" "The post office!"

 

[01dragonslayer]

"Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"

 

[01dragonslayer]

"What do you call a poor Santa Claus?" "St. Nickel-less."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"Where do boats go when they're sick?" "To the boat doc."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady."

 

[01dragonslayer]

"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"

 

[KingoftheNorth14]

Why did the math book look so mad?

Cuz it had too many problems!

 

[01dragonslayer]

 

[01dragonslayer]

I've never been a fan of facial hair. But now it's starting to grow on me.

 

[01dragonslayer]

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.

 

[01dragonslayer]

What do you call a pig who knows how to use a butcher knife? A pork chop.

 

[01dragonslayer]

What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A Sturgeon.

 

[01dragonslayer]

Why did the pony ask for a glass of water? Because it was a little horse.

 

[01dragonslayer]

Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.

 

[01dragonslayer]

 

[01dragonslayer]

My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.

 

[01dragonslayer]

What do kids play when they have nothing else to do? Bored games.

 

[01dragonslayer]

What did the boy say to his fingers? I'm counting on you.